I’m not sure why I often find myself outside at night contemplating life. There’s something about looking up at the sky and wondering….well wondering a little bit of everything. Kind of like the cat on the railing above me as he’s looking up at the roof and wondering what’s up there. I wonder if when he jumps up on the roof his curiosity kicks back in as there is nothing obstructing his view of the sky now. Does he now ask the same question to the sky as he did the roof….what’s out there? If he could would he find a way to get to the sky only to discover the universe and wonder…what’s out there. That reminds me of what people do. Find the greatest thing in the world and all they can see is the next thing past it that’s going to be the greatest thing in the world. When will we just be grateful of the amazing right in front of us, and stop trying to find something better? As long as we are always looking around the corner for something better we’ll never be happy.
I’m not sure when that kicked in exactly, that loss of enthusiasm on the quest to more and better. All I know is that one day it just left. Not that I don’t of course want my life to continue to get better, I do. I just want it to be through a natural flow, not one made up of expectations and attachments to things that will always work out just the way they were meant to anyway. Being attached to something doesn’t give you any more control over anything, in fact in my case it generally gives me less. This is my favorite lesson in all of this, learning to just flow with life instead of always trying to swim upstream. Oh, and did I mention I can’t swim? That makes it tougher.
I’m finding that as I just let go the story gets better. Everyday I’m brought everything I need, no struggle, no strife, just here you go, everything’s taken care of today. It’s almost like watching things in nature work. The wind blows and if the tree just sways with the wind then everything is ok, but the minute that tree puts up a resistance then its branches break. If you’ve ever seen John Travolta’s movie Phenomenon that’s the secret to life that he discovers, that everything is like the ebb and flow of the wind through the trees. If we don’t fight it, and we can be grateful for it then we never have to search for more and better because we always have just what we need and it’s always the greatest thing in the world.
Lately that’s been my life, just blowing in the breeze. Seeing where today takes me, and wondering if I’ll find my way back. After all I have been forgetting to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to make it easy. My favorite thing about everyday lately is finding so many small moments that I like to take a mental picture of. I like to call them freeze frame moments. The kind where you’d almost like to climb into a bubble and float around in it forever. I haven’t always focused my attention on those kind of moments. I remember a time that I kept my focus on the moments that felt like quicksand. I wouldn’t trade the peace I feel inside for the adrenaline rush of the other. My motto for the moment is one day at a time, one moment at a time, one breath at a time it will all come together. Like the river flowing all the way to the ocean just like it was meant to be.